Pencil and Crayon

in fairy tales
we walk through our snowy world..

don't blink

why?

there are fresh places in your eyes
i want to catch them for the map

heh. watch your step. the snow is deep there where if it were blue it would be green

nina..

yeah?

do you mean, red?




      maybe. i don't know. winter is nice, i do love you ..

like gentle mittens?

 & flip flops

(02/04/10 22:41:33)

Hormel?

i can fuse the cheese into a nacho plate.

Packed individually for freshness...




so, Nina, what's up with your stereo?

sounds alright right now, playin' billy idol.

and fat cat is all good?
no. something happened while i was gone.

don't be afraid.

*

Jealous Guy

i don't like him.

jesus, nina..

i am paging mr yellow mellow

why? he can't do anything.

he can be with us.


***

identified: a security vulnerability

what's up n .. m.. drunk again?


***

no!

***

mmmmmm... click... 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7,


***

fuck


alcohol is legal!

***

get out of the past, nina.

untitled

garlic and chocolate. apples and salt.

keebler club crackers, a little scotch and planters cashews

askew?

i want to have fun with you. i do i do i do!

do you remember the last movie we watched
and if it was really me, that was with you?

i remember your mad mouth
and your sad mouth
too

what about that narrow, dark place i touched
and the window i couldn't really see through?

all i know is
you touched me as if i were a flower
and that should be good enough for you.

lol, warm thing...

you make my heart sing?

yeah and if you want
i'll be the napkin if you be the ring.




*

Nina Laughs

she found her silver purse. it doesn't sparkle but the fringe is fun.

you should have bought the boots

she puts the purse in the closet with the 2 matching scarfs. no palm trees just beautiful cobblestones, a fireplace and snow.

your body is cold

hush.
winter is a vampire

that looks like you

Nina Dreams as

reflections repeat - nights in the duplex box. and through the window:
angels float from another host. . dark, filled with holes, cracks, & smoke.
these holes
fingerprint her with glints
push her into everywhere they've been -
haiku of smoky noise.
her naked body stirs, but only, slightly.

*

far away
tombed in his own dreams
black irises
burn lips, smear themselves on bony & fat tips..

*

basket thighs

how's your cash?

i'm broke

*

Nina is a theater
her bangs & lungs are spray-painted
but
the word
poem,
is etched
like a tunnel -
cross-stitched




&
he is
a pink
automaton
tiny bits of ice stuck in his bit
a vibrating line
marking the gloom
with

forever



*

consider each keystroke ..

a kiss.


*

with bloody cuticles and shaky hands
Nina types into the machine..

dear ghost eyes
i am sorry for calling you mean names. i am sorry you are sad.

know this:

you are my velvety ocean & my dreamland.
my nest & my pulse
my fever, my socket, my
glass. my dark shadow ~

i came across time for you,
died a million deaths with you

ran through alleys &
walked through gardens of stars with you

i won't die

on a foggy
winter
morning
covered by nothing but the computers' flickering glow
the fat cat snoring in her corner
dreaming in rhyme as my avatar changes into some kind of an angel or
snowflake
maybe even a bloody ax in the sand
which would lead people to believe that
i am still here
i guess this is a poem
for all of those who can't stand to breathe
the stench of their own stink
who no longer care enough to
get out of bed
eat
or
find a job
for those who don't feel like editing their drunken
slop of a poem
fuck, u, u know it's that time of the year
for all you losers
watching a tv show about being reconnected
with god
or
a lost family member or something called, hope
for those sick of all the sugary bullshit or just bull
for all those closet billy idol fans
for those who never did any drugs
but were simply born
too slow
for the obese armchair activist
inhaling his third pizza hut pizza
for the girl who thinks she's gonna make it big
by fixing her nose
for the generic shut-in
who only writes about roses
because he has seen all the ugly in the world
and wants to forget
all the Lucilles putting his last dollar in the jukebox
instead of washing baby clothes
for all those who find their last rebel yell
when the sheriff comes with the eviction notice

for the time love left you breathless
on a beach full of sun.

..................................................

Nina Sighs...

pours herself another vodka/red bull
and turns up the volume

'Super Nanny'
what a great show.

.

show over. cigs, gone.

thinks about getting dressed and going outside to see if the car will start.. nah.
searches for 'Even Flow' on Utube instead.

Pearl Jam.. isn't it a decade too soon for them to be hip again?

no.

o, okay.. so you're just gonna be all sullen and bitchy now?

no. i found a pair of long johns and they fit so i am actually quite content.

so, you are getting dressed and you are gonna go out and try to start your car?

no.

alright. just sayin'. just might be good to see if it starts. cause you are gonna have to drive it tomorrow.

i can walk.

LMFAO! yeah, right. in this weather? you aren't as tough as you used to be, Nina. Let's face it, you have pretty much given up.

on what?!

L I F E

fuck you.

..

Radar Love

love is..

us, living in a van by the river..

drinking cheap scotch and screw-top wine

writing mad/bad-ass poems on napkins stolen from McDonald's.

we will film everything, of course, and become friends.

lol come on now, let's get serious!

Love is..
the blinds closed, your wet hair, your pupils all crescent, the clutch
and hold of your sweet talons, and that satin bush wild enough to silk on!

to silk on? oh, you mean after i bang it on your salty lips & tongue?

oh yeah - and the way you paint those lusty arrows on my skin
till i am blind & gutted, reduced to howls; dog language

but what if i want a cigarette and we have none?

i'll let you suck my finger or if you want you can suck your thumb and i won't ever tell anyone.

*~Melancholy~*

Nina wakes
to find him carrying her

beating

heart

to his kymograph/other thing machine thing

his sepia lab coat
has vanished in spots

what are you doing with that?

checking it for a change

why?

don't worry
you'll get it back


~~~

the land stands still, the water keeps rising

both moons, those milky eyes
dissolve into soft focus

Nina is dreaming. her hair a tangle of mischief
blue veins pulsing starfish highlit thighs hand painted
skin

bubble b, where did you wander off to

far away giggle
broken static

just /// beach

are you wearing the repellent

i found a cove full of ***///*

get back to the villa before dark, i'm picking you up in a few hours

foamy shadow - flagged

Nina!



ok // tryin to send [image]


~<~<~<~====~<~<~<~^^~>~>~>~====~>~>~>~

An American Prayer

Nina starts crying at the same time the rain begins to फाल - 10/01/09 11:09:51

not so much out of sadness as from frustration.

she closes the window and gets out the ice.
take that, eyelid 1 and eyelid 2!

frozen swirls of radon on frozen planets of ice?

'forever afternoon (tuesday?)'

the fairy land of love .. i know u are smiling .. i always make u smile with my love

It's smoke only when no
longer visible, everything around
it, shiny, blue, and naked, odd parts I notice and
claim.

lick-spittle of thought, brainwell, shadows of my soul .. imagine it is a blue world's other weather .. rubbed on your knot .. my finger-flower close the blinds, concentrate, u know the vanity of the carnal world. but that is not what i was talking about..

well.. i am talking about the enormous stillness of dream-taste.
a fatal autumnal afternoon.
why fatal?
just a deeper magic. .

the
two-lane highway, recognition?

before the re-pass.

lol


..


your hair smells good.

your lips are soft.

i'll stay.

who will save us now?

with a hint of plum in her hair

i love strange places

strange places or being a stranger?

ha..

they were staying in an abandoned villa overlooking the ice cold ocean. there were other small villas in the area but this was the only one with electricity, hot water and a working jacuzzi bathtub. the place was overflowing, with dark, cheap mediterranean furniture spotted in places with a strange florescent mold (?). Nina had discovered what seemed like, hundreds of bottles of wine, underneath the ornate bar. each small, round bottle they pulled out, had the same handwritten label:

Robertson Winery
natural sweet red
South Africa

Nina was already opening a bottle, using her small, personal, vine engraved corkscrew.

i hope the corks aren't all crumbly, who knows how old these bottles are..

pop!
Nina laughs, grabs a small plastic cup and says
this one is fine. i'm taking it with me into the bath. why don't you check out the kitchenette. so-so said that he left some decent freeze-dried meals in the pantry. or.. you should see if you can get that old vhs player to work, he left his 1960's classic tv shows, collection. her voice trailing away as she turns the corner to walk down the hall towards the bathroom.

he decides to go out on the terrace to get some fresh air before tackling the ancient vhs situation. the place had a weird odor. not really unpleasant but the fact that it was, unidentifiable, bothered him. Nina said it was just the regular, musty-dusty closed-up-house smell, and suggested opening all the windows but the windows were screen less, and he wasn't sure what kind of insects were out there, so they agreed to leave the windows closed for the time being, especially at night. the view from the terrace was spectacular, 2 moons, each one surrounded by a bright violet glow, which was never visible from the city. the seagulls looked like regular seagulls only much larger and they seemed to move much slower, than he remembered from his childhood. he wished he had asked so-so for a map of the island, but it was too late now. he suddenly felt uneasy and went back inside, locking the glass door behind him.
he finds Nina still in the bathtub, her hair pinned up, jet flows turned way down, and a washcloth over both eyes. bubbles in circles bumping up against her skin like white bursting flames.
are your eyes hurting again?
emmm.. especially the left one. feels like it is turning into a migraine.
relax, i'll go look for some pills, knowing so-so the way i do, i know he left something good behind

Nina sighs to herself. she was sick of all the poison. sick of the running & hiding..

~~

back in the kitchenette, he finds a blank envelope, and starts to write:

my heart is only a muscle
drained and flattened or
fluted and electric
depending on the umbilicus of your climate,
the smashing of your void.
your heart is a forest, where
if i'm not careful
mine may disappear

~~~~




as they slept
the ocean grew colder &
thousands of stars
moved closer together

Nina dreamed dreams she would never remember
they flowed into each other
becoming one




mouth

moose-mink monogram

monogrammed

Marcy Playground


# #


i really like that line:
eating a face

who wrote that?

i don't recall

recall?

lol, i always use, 'remember' .. so ..

ah.. so .. so, you liked that song?

not really. just the songs it reminded me of

alright.. open another bottle.

i can't i am having the strangest dream.

i'll do it

k

where did you leave your insane goblet?

i don't remember

Nina.. did you go out on the terrace, while i was in the shower?


no.





heh.. you know... i came here with you so that you are safe.. please don't lie.

there weren't any insects! i wasn't bit! i just wanted to see the sea turtles. so-so said they use this beach! they have developed a special protection!
i just wanted to see!!

alright. it's ok. calm down.

playing. atomic/blondie

no helmet sensation today
only a neon smell

Nina gets out the old keyboard
unnecessary but her fingers want
the comfort of the plastic keys

he had cushioned her & traumatized her hips
had insisted that transition was still possible

outside, a large tracker unit rolls by
its blinking lights turning the raindrops
pinkish-white
silent deaths
his lips

she felt cold, & almost wished she was huddled in a cafe full of people warm with drink



~~~


Over our life - then shalt thou, smiling, touch the keys, And draw me softly with thee into Paradise. --- ee cummings


~~~

whatcha doin?

watching 'Willard' on the idiot box

claustrophobic fur smothering victorian fear

LoNeLiNeSs

write something

crumbling

prism of rain *** whisperling,

stop. the world is hateful and you know it. i am sick of it.

no you aren't. remember that time we ended up in the other space because the TR malfunctioned. how we sat on the naked beach watching the strange bird like creatures swoop down into that odd shivery silver water to catch whatever it is they were eating. how we laughed at the odd jubilant trilling sounds they made while flying back up into the sky. how you sat perfectly still as my mouth found your neck.. the cave we slept in.. the things we wrote on the walls..

~~~

~~~

subtle as a log.

Nina reads the words on the screen. Uh huh, you should definitely stick to what you know. No doubt about that, Mr. Writer. King of the Samples.
She smiles.
It is dark outside but is it night?

_all circuits_ are busy now_ [error 815-71]


she felt like sliding across the carpet and touching the screen just to hear those little statical crackles. but she didn't have carpet.

she resumes reading.. yadayada..

'that unfortunately mistake smugness
for being refined and mistake lack of sympathy for clear
sightedness.'

oooo.. now, that is creamy.